Never will I leave you

I am constantly blogging in my mind.  When I am writing, I don't even have to think about the words - they just flow onto the page - and yet I have always struggled to get my words out in conversation.  Growing up, I was the shyest of shy.  Someone jokingly asked me once if I was mute and I shook my head no.  I mean, what do you even say to that anyway?  

For one reason or another - being busy with four kids, second guessing who am I and what I have to say, prioritizing different things - I have really put writing on the back burner.  And now, I find myself so full of thoughts that I cannot get them out fast enough.  So I am choosing to process in this way.  I want to share what the Lord is teaching me and will trust that there's a purpose in it.  I am not going to second guess it anymore.  Which leads me to this...

I began a book yesterday, You'll Get Through This, by Max Lucado.  Someone suggested it to me, so I bought it on Amazon.  It came in the mail a few days ago and I set it on the dresser next to my bed.  I wanted to read it, and yet also couldn't pick it up.  It kept staring at me every time I walked into the room.  Finally, I began to read.

It's the story of Jospeh intertwined with some other stories and encouragement of how to make it through turbulent times.  Meet Joseph, the eleventh son of his father, Jacob, and highly favored.  He was sold into slavery by his very own brothers who hated him.  He became Potiphar's personal servant and was again, highly favored and put in charge of many things.  He ended up being accused of rape by Potiphar's wife and thrown into prison.  He continued to be faithful and allowed God to use him even in prison.  Through his gift of interpreting dreams, he eventually was brought before Pharoah to interpret his dreams.  He would became Vizier of Egypt and the very same brothers that sold him into slavery all of those years ago would come before him needing his help.  Joseph, at any time, could have chosen to become angry at God or harden his heart, and yet he chose to trust in God.  When he was in a position of power and could have retaliated against his brothers who threw him into a pit and sold him, he said, 

“I am Joseph, your brother, whom you sold into slavery in Egypt. But don’t be upset, and don’t be angry with yourselves for selling me to this place. It was God who sent me here ahead of you to preserve your lives. This famine that has ravaged the land for two years will last five more years, and there will be neither plowing nor harvesting. God has sent me ahead of you to keep you and your families alive and to preserve many survivors.  So it was God who sent me here, not you! And he is the one who made me an adviser to Pharaoh—the manager of his entire palace and the governor of all Egypt."

And again, he said to them,

 “Don’t be afraid of me. Am I God, that I can punish you? You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people. No, don’t be afraid. I will continue to take care of you and your children.” So he reassured them by speaking kindly to them."

There's no doubt Joseph claimed the promises of God, fully trusting him throughout the absolute worst of circumstances.  God promises, "When you pass though the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you.  When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, nor shall the flame scorch you." Also, "never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."  

I'd love to type the whole book here.  It's so good.  It's encouraging even if you're not going through a difficult time.  Nevertheless, I want to share a bit below because why put it in my own words, when it's worded so perfectly.

"God is not sometimes sovereign.  He is not occasionally victorious.  He does not occupy the throne one day and vacate it the next.  "The Lord shall not turn back until He has executed and accomplished the thoughts and intents of His mind."  This season in which you find yourself may puzzle you, but it does not bewilder God.  He can and will use it for His purpose.  

Case in point: Joseph is in prison.  From an earthly viewpoint the Egyptian jail was the tragic conclusion of Joseph's life.  Satan could chalk up a victory for the dark side.  All plans to use Joseph ended up with the slamming of the jail door.  The devil had Joseph where he wanted him.

So did God."

Wow.  You guys, God knows.  God is in control. Who am I, who are we, to question?  What man intends for evil, God intends for good.  He is perfect in all of His ways.  Instead of doubt, I am choosing trust.  Instead of anger, I am choosing hope.  Since I was a little girl, I have always loved the verse Jeremiah 29:11 - For I know the plans I have for you.  I have it hanging in my house.  I believe it.  I trust it.  I will lean into it.

I choose to claim His promises.

Could there be a more perfect expression of love?  A big brother wrapping his arms around his baby sister in perfect love, and her holding onto him, feeling the safety of his embrace.  I believe that is how God is holding me.  This photo gives me allll the feels.