Be still.

“It’s hard for me to not do anything,” I confessed to a friend the other day.

I am on day ten of being sick and quite honestly, over it. But the truth is, it doesn’t matter how I feel about it - I cannot control it. I gave myself what I deemed to be the appropriate amount of time to rest and then I was done. You see, there was too much to do. I was already feeling sad about missing the last days of summer and there was no way I was about to miss the first days of school. No way, no how.

And so I didn’t.

And well, I overdid it. I pushed myself too far, didn’t rest as I should have, and ended up with pneumonia. Somehow the world would’ve stop if I couldn’t see my baby off to Kindergarten, see my other kids off their respective ways, go to counseling, and run a couple errands that “needed” to be done - by me.

“Be still,” a friend reminded me yesterday. I sighed. I knew it was true.

The Lord has been speaking to my heart specifically on two things recently: identity and stillness. I find they are connected.

You see, so much of our identity is wrapped up in what we do. We define ourselves by our roles and the things we accomplish. The trouble is that we can’t ever seem to measure up to the impossible standards we place on ourselves. We go, go, go. We do, do, do. We don’t like to ask for help and perhaps think more highly of ourselves than we ought. We don’t want to fail. We over expend our time, our money, our resources, our health. And at what cost?

We miss it. We miss the whole point.

“Be still, and know that I am God.”

Oh friends, this isn’t a suggestion, but a command. Other translations may read, “Cease striving, and know…” In other words, stop everything, and know. Perceive and understand WHO He is. In the midst of everything going on in the world and everything surrounding you, see Him in His rightful place. That puts everything else into perspective.

So why do we resist rest? Do we think this does somehow not apply to us? We’d seemingly rather chase the noise, the endless pursuits, and run ourselves ragged, then sit alone with our true self. And with God.

I picked a book off my bookshelf the other morning, mostly out of boredom. But God knew better than me. “Intimacy with the Almighty,” the title read. It is a quick, but thoughtful read and can be summed up in four words: simplicity, silence, solitude, and surrender. To be honest, I liked the title. I want intimacy with God. But equally, I was fed up with sitting around and being still. You guys, we live discontent. Until we learn to declutter from the chaos, “we will find ourselves unable to be at rest within, unable to enter the deep, silent recesses of our hearts, where God’s best messages are communicated.” But when we learn to slow down and enter into His stillness, we find solace and refreshment for our souls. It’s in the silence that we find Him.

“Be still,” glared the words on the page I opened to this morning. I had again woken up frustrated that nothing seems to have changed. But God is still working on me. The quote on the adjacent page read, “Noise and words and frenzied, hectic schedules dull our senses, closing our ears to His still, small voice and making us numb to His touch.”

Okay, God, I hear you. I don’t want to miss it.

I began to think back to Creation in how God rested on the seventh day. Surely God did not need rest, and yet He chose it. He then commanded His people to do the same. I thought of how Jesus would often remove Himself from the crowds to have solitude and communion with His Father. I thought of Jesus’s instructions to His disciples in Mark 6:31 after they had been away teaching. He said, “Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while.” God commanded it, Jesus modeled it, and further instructed the disciples to follow suit. I thought of last night when JJ came into my room, restless and crying. He is sick as well and quite miserable at that. I pulled him next to me. I found myself shushing in his ear, as if to say, “It’s okay, you’re okay. Just rest. That’s what you need.”

And it finally started to click. I must settle into the stillness and the silence. I must stop resisting and find Him, even in this. The fact is, God has slowed me way down. I can fight it, or I can embrace it. I can be restless, or I can rest.

At the end of the day, my identity is fully in Him - not in anything I do. So, I will be still. And listen.