Seek first the Kingdom.
Calvin and I recently began walking together in the mornings, as opposed to running. We realized it’s an opportunity to talk and have much needed conversation in the midst of all our crazy.
As we were discussing something upcoming, I found myself beginning to question what it would look like. How would it work? Calvin simply said, “I’m not even going to think that far ahead. Those are tomorrow’s worries.”
Sigh. I knew he was right.
“It’s true. It’ll work out.”
This morning I found myself in Luke 12. Jesus told His disciples, “Do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat, nor about your body, what you will put on.” He goes on to explain if God will feed the birds and clothe the flowers of the field, how much more will He provide for you - “Oh you of little faith.”
“Do not be anxious” isn’t a suggestion, but a command. Plain and simple - worry is not faith. This isn't just having to do with food - but with our lives.
There are many parts of our story I don’t speak about publicly. Anything having to do with my ex-husband’s case or trial is off-limits. Going on three and a half years, this process has felt never-ending, looming over us without finality. My children’s journeys of grief and the ever-present repercussions are so personal. This, for me, has been the heaviest, most difficult part. These consequences are heartbreaking and the journey has felt nearly impossible at times. It is day-by-day, moment-by-moment. Everything is seemingly fine, and then it’s not. We process as we come face-to-face with what the day brings. The hours-long conversations, the hugs, the tears, the counseling sessions, the circling back to truth - are our normal. Some days I don’t feel strong enough. The good news is, I don’t have to be.
You see, all of these unknowns could overwhelm me to the point of giving up. But faith is a daily surrender. I don’t have to hold these things together, because as Jesus says, “do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, nor be worried… your Father knows that you need them.”
The Father already knows. It is already in His hands. So when Jesus says not to worry, that includes all things, not some things. We cannot live in this world where we say, “Okay God, I trust you with this thing, but I’m gonna need to hold onto this thing.” That’s not trust at all.
Believe me, this is a daily reminder for myself. I have to continually lay it down, “Lord, I believe all things are in Your control, including our futures. I trust You with the results of this trial and I trust in Your justice, not my own. I know You love my children more than I do, and You will take care of them because they are Yours. Lord, I am exhausted, but You are my rest. You promise that You will carry my burdens - I must simply come. I trust You at Your Word, that You will turn this all for good. I trust in Your purposes and Your plan.”
And so I must wait and truly trust, without worry. Friends, we are called to live in today and not in tomorrow. When we wait on Him, He will deliver us. We can count on that.
As Jesus so beautifully said, “Seek His kingdom, and these things will be added to you.”
