with arms high and heart abandoned
The past week has been an emotional up and down roller coaster. Any and every emotion you can think of, I have probably had. I thought to myself this morning that nothing could ever prepare anyone for this.
But, God.
God immediately told me - I have been preparing you for this all along.
Every day He has given me a verse that has felt like the theme of the day. More people than I could possibly even begin to understand have reached out and have prayed with and over me. Of course, I have had many moments of weakness and feelings of hopelessness. But He picks me back up and brings me back to truth.
I absolutely got chills the other day when I remembered my word of the year and went back to read the words I had written about it:
Amen and amen. I have mentioned to several people that this experience has felt as though I am (we are) standing naked in front of the world. But, nothing shall separate us from the love of Christ. If this is what "God, who began the good work within me and will continue until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns" has called me to, then amen. If this is "abandonment", I trust in that. I trust in HIM.
There have been two songs that have given me so much comfort the past few days. Have a listen if you so desire:
Never once
Ever Be - These specific lyrics get me every time:
Again, thank you for all the prayers, love and support. Please continue to pray for truth, for restoration, for guidance in the many decisions I have to make, for complete abandonment to Him. I love you all.
But, God.
God immediately told me - I have been preparing you for this all along.
Every day He has given me a verse that has felt like the theme of the day. More people than I could possibly even begin to understand have reached out and have prayed with and over me. Of course, I have had many moments of weakness and feelings of hopelessness. But He picks me back up and brings me back to truth.
I absolutely got chills the other day when I remembered my word of the year and went back to read the words I had written about it:
"As I prayed for God to give me a word for 2019, the word "abandon" came to my mind almost immediately. The lyrics to the song, The Stand, then came to my mind.
"So I'll stand, with arms high and heart abandoned. In awe, of the One who gave it all. So I'll stand, my soul Lord to you surrendered. All I am is yours."
The past year required oh so much faith. To the point that I so often felt at the end of myself. It required surrender. 2 Chronicles 16:9 says, "For the eyes of the Lord move over all the earth so that He may give strength to those whose whole heart is given to Him." That is my desire. To give him my whole heart. Not the parts that are easy... but even the parts that are not.
I believe this "follows" my word from 2018. When Jesus was speaking to the rich young ruler in Mark 10, it says, "Jesus looked at him and loved him. “One thing you lack,” he said. “Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” The ruler was happy to follow Jesus as long as he had his safety net. His back up plan of safety and security. Jesus desires us to follow with abandon. I pray that I will not look back, but look forward, with arms high and heart abandoned to Him.
I'm excited to see what the Lord has planned for two thousand nineteen. I believe greater things are yet to come."
I still believe that. I claim that. God is still God and none of this is a surprise to him. My kids are strong and have handled this far greater than I could have imagined. Sure, they have questions and are confused, but we keep turning back to truth. God is continually writing His story on our hearts. There are things I want to shout to the rooftops and cannot wait to share how He is working. All in time. But there is no doubt in my mind that He is in this, He is with us, and He is for us.
"What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written:
“For your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Amen and amen. I have mentioned to several people that this experience has felt as though I am (we are) standing naked in front of the world. But, nothing shall separate us from the love of Christ. If this is what "God, who began the good work within me and will continue until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns" has called me to, then amen. If this is "abandonment", I trust in that. I trust in HIM.
There have been two songs that have given me so much comfort the past few days. Have a listen if you so desire:
Never once
Ever Be - These specific lyrics get me every time:
Now you're making me like you
Clothing me in white
Bringing beauty from ashes
For You will have Your bride
Free of all her guilt and rid of all her shame
And known by her true name and it's why I sing
Your praise will ever be on my lips, ever be on my lips
Again, thank you for all the prayers, love and support. Please continue to pray for truth, for restoration, for guidance in the many decisions I have to make, for complete abandonment to Him. I love you all.