day 365

"See, I am doing a new thing!
    Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
    and streams in the wasteland."

This.  God has given me numerous Scriptures throughout this past year and more recently this has been on my heart.  We don't typically like new.  We like familiar.  If ever I am learning anything, it is to embrace the now.  The only benefit in looking backwards is to see how far we've come - how far God has brought us.  I will never forget the place I found myself in a year ago.  I remember being curled in a ball, crying, feeling as though I was suffocating and saying aloud, "I cannot do this.  I don't want to do this."  In that moment, everything felt hopeless.  I wanted to crawl into a hole.  Run away.  Anything but deal with the circumstances life had brought me.

But God.  He spoke to me in that moment and gave me the strength, the energy, and the will to fight.  The faith to believe HIM.  To stand up.  To claim His promises.  Romans 8:28 has been my theme verse this year - "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."  He truly does work all things for good.  I look back and think on all the miracles of this year.  They are too numerous to write.  One day I will write them all down.  But for now, I reflect on what He has done.  The story of the Israelite's deliverance from Egypt has been one that God has reminded me of over and over.  Even though God had delivered them, they quickly began grumbling and forgetting the goodness of God - so much so that they wanted to go back to Egypt.  Somehow they talked themselves into believing that was better.  Though the journey to the Promised Land should have taken 11 days, it turned into 40 years.  Although God knew what was on the other side of the promise, they missed it altogether because of their lack of trust.  Though some days it takes everything in me to draw back to the promise, I always come back to the mindset of I don't want to miss it.  God wants good things for His children.  He wants to bless us.  I will not doubt, I will not forget, I will continue to believe in His Word.  I never want to forget all that He has done, and I don't want to miss the new thing that He is doing now.  I also do not want to get stuck in what I want for the future, what He has not done yet, or live in my own expectations.  Even though I may not always understand, I do not have to, because I have confidence in Him and in His character.  "For all the promises of God in Him are Yes, and in Him Amen, to the glory of God through us."  Yes and amen.  I believe that with all my heart!

Where a year ago I didn't believe I could make it through this, I sit here today, on day 365, in awe of Him.  It's been the longest year imaginable.  It would truly be impossible to explain the pain, all the seemingly impossible things that had to be taken care of, the delicate emotions and conversations with the kids, the loss and end of many dreams, the exhaustion.  But more so, it would be impossible to write of all the ways God showed up.  Every day.  In so many moments.  He so faithfully and beautifully gave me grace in each moment through a Word, a prayer, a song, a person - the list is endless.  It is really to the point where you'd think I'd get it and yet somehow I am still amazed.  I heard a podcast the other day that spoke of Jesus as the bread of life.  "Then Jesus declared, "I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty."  The podcast so beautifully described how the bread is now.  Bread is a sustenance for daily life - Give us this day our daily bread.  No one wants stale bread.  It goes bad after a few days.  Sometimes He will give us a word that will fill us just in that moment, but we must always come back.  If He is our source, our life, our sustenance, we will never be lacking.  We need Him all the time, not just once a day or once a week.  It is in that constant communion that we find His presence and His peace.

I am so tired today.  Exhausted, really.  It was one of those mornings where I questioned even getting out of bed.  My eyes are heavy and my mind full.  As I sit in my office listening to the playlist I created and added to all year of the songs that spoke to me, it brings me back to a lot of places.  A lot of emotions.  And yet, my heart is full of hope.  I'm exhausted, but still standing, still trusting, and believing more than ever.  I can say with all my heart that He is enough.  He is everything and He is all.  Another verse He lead me to this year is found in Jeremiah.  I do not love picking and choosing verses without context and have learned the context, but the character of God never changes so we can learn from that.  It says, 

"The word of the Lord came to me: “What do you see, Jeremiah?”
“I see the branch of an almond tree,” I replied.
The Lord said to me, “You have seen correctly, for I am watching to see that my Word is fulfilled.”

God is watching over His Word and He will fulfill it.  The Hebrew word for almond means to "to be ready," "to hasten," "to watch for an opportunity to do a thing," to awake; because the almond tree is the first to flower in the winter and bring forth fruit.  It is a sign of resurrection, of new life.  The revelation to Jeremiah was that just as the almond tree in bloom signified the near-approach of spring, so God was soon to bring His Word to pass.  

I love this because His Word is full of promises and His Word will be fulfilled.  He will see to it.  And I know that He promises to continue to work for good.  He is and will continue to renew, to restore, to bring about the new.  And I don't want to miss it.  See, I am doing a new thing!  I challenge you, as well as myself, to look at what new thing is God doing in your life and what can you learn from it.  What does He want to show you today - about Himself, about His character, about His Word?  I want to see the promise and not be stuck in the wilderness of my own expectations.  Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.


My absolute joys. 
He has brought new in providing a new home.
With a pool, which is a bonus & a dream. 
He has provided a new job, which has given me new purpose, new friends, and really, new family.
The boys help out too, which has given them something to learn. 
Signs of spring and new life! 
I love these beautiful roses that bloomed.  I didn't even know it was a rose bush and, surprise!
Their favorite spot. 
Which brings us so much joy. 
My queen! 
Also, my entertainment. 
And, my pool lounging buddy.


Previous
Previous

journeying into year two.

Next
Next

one day at a time.