I will praise you forever.
Where to even begin? This has probably been the most difficult week for me so far, and yet also one of the most beautiful. Isn't God so amazing that way? He truly is there and fills me with His peace in what seems like the darkest of hours. With tears streaming down my face driving in the car, in the middle of the night when the world is asleep but sleep eludes me, when I unexpectedly burst into tears caused by the smallest of things - my heavy heart turns to Him. God has really laid on my heart this week having a heart of praise.
This song has been my mantra this week and probably the cause of many tears, singing and absorbing the truth in it. JJ was telling me earlier this week what a great driver I am, but perhaps he hasn't noticed my often inability to see the road due to said tears. And the tears aren't always sad, but tears of joy, of awe, of praise.
I count on one thing
The same God that never fails
Will not fail me now
You won't fail me now
In the waiting
The same God who's never late
Is working all things out
You're working all things out
Yes I will, lift You high in the lowest valley
Yes I will, bless Your name
Oh, yes I will, sing for joy when my heart is heavy
All my days, oh yes I will
I also began a new book that kept me up half the night, Forgotten God. It really is so great and I'd encourage anyone to pick it up. This part in particular really resonated with my heart.
"When Jesus calls us to take up our cross, He is doing much more than calling us to endure the daily, circumstantial troubles of life. The people in Jesus's day were very familiar with the cross. Having witnessed crucifixion, they understood the commitment and sacrifice of taking up a cross. It is called radical faith. Jesus is calling us to be willing to suffer anything and forsake everything for the sake of the gospel. His call is to consider everything a loss for His sake. His call is for total surrender. He calls us to give up all that we have, to give even to then point of offering up our lives as a sacrifice. His call means realizing that His power is made perfect in our weakness, that when we are weak, we are also strong."
I often question myself - I say I have faith, but do I really? It's easy to quote scripture and say all the right things when life is pretty and things are just as we had hoped and planned. But what about when it's not? When the rubber hits the road, how do we respond? I can say, undeniably, that God is working all things for the good. Had anyone told me ahead of time that this is how things would have turned out, I'm not sure I would've thought I could handle it. Actually, I can't. But HE can. It truly doesn't make sense from the outside, but I can claim His faithfulness, His unconditional love, His strength in the midst of my weakness. As I journey through this, I pray for radical faith. I pray that God uses all of this for His glory and for our good. I trust Him. Whatever He calls me to, I want to lift Him high and bless His name. In the lowest valley. When my heart is heavy. He is still good.
JJ and I had a sweet conversation today walking to and from the park. If you know him or hang with him for a bit, you find he never ever, ever, stops talking. Today it went like so:
As he was holding Eva's hand, guiding her to the park.
"Mom? Do you think I will make a good father? Do you think I can afford kids? What costs more - a house, or kids? I would think a kid because a kid is alive. I just love playing with my baby sister."
On the way home he became somewhat sad, expressing to me how he's feeling about things and what he misses. On so many levels my heart breaks for him, and yet it was a beautiful opportunity to share truth with him. "JJ, I know you are sad. But God is always with you and He loves you. He protects you. Remember when you accepted Him as your Savior? He is in you and with you always. Also, you have SO many people that love and care about you. I know there will be days you are sad, but never ever forget that."
To this, he told me that he is human and he will have feelings of being sad. That they won't go away, but he wants to be baptized and tell the world that he loves Jesus. Bless it. HE is doing a work in all of us and I will continue to trust in His promises. And will not be silent about His goodness!!
“You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent. Lord my God, I will praise you forever.” Psalm 30:11
This song has been my mantra this week and probably the cause of many tears, singing and absorbing the truth in it. JJ was telling me earlier this week what a great driver I am, but perhaps he hasn't noticed my often inability to see the road due to said tears. And the tears aren't always sad, but tears of joy, of awe, of praise.
I count on one thing
The same God that never fails
Will not fail me now
You won't fail me now
In the waiting
The same God who's never late
Is working all things out
You're working all things out
Yes I will, lift You high in the lowest valley
Yes I will, bless Your name
Oh, yes I will, sing for joy when my heart is heavy
All my days, oh yes I will
I also began a new book that kept me up half the night, Forgotten God. It really is so great and I'd encourage anyone to pick it up. This part in particular really resonated with my heart.
"When Jesus calls us to take up our cross, He is doing much more than calling us to endure the daily, circumstantial troubles of life. The people in Jesus's day were very familiar with the cross. Having witnessed crucifixion, they understood the commitment and sacrifice of taking up a cross. It is called radical faith. Jesus is calling us to be willing to suffer anything and forsake everything for the sake of the gospel. His call is to consider everything a loss for His sake. His call is for total surrender. He calls us to give up all that we have, to give even to then point of offering up our lives as a sacrifice. His call means realizing that His power is made perfect in our weakness, that when we are weak, we are also strong."
I often question myself - I say I have faith, but do I really? It's easy to quote scripture and say all the right things when life is pretty and things are just as we had hoped and planned. But what about when it's not? When the rubber hits the road, how do we respond? I can say, undeniably, that God is working all things for the good. Had anyone told me ahead of time that this is how things would have turned out, I'm not sure I would've thought I could handle it. Actually, I can't. But HE can. It truly doesn't make sense from the outside, but I can claim His faithfulness, His unconditional love, His strength in the midst of my weakness. As I journey through this, I pray for radical faith. I pray that God uses all of this for His glory and for our good. I trust Him. Whatever He calls me to, I want to lift Him high and bless His name. In the lowest valley. When my heart is heavy. He is still good.
JJ and I had a sweet conversation today walking to and from the park. If you know him or hang with him for a bit, you find he never ever, ever, stops talking. Today it went like so:
As he was holding Eva's hand, guiding her to the park.
"Mom? Do you think I will make a good father? Do you think I can afford kids? What costs more - a house, or kids? I would think a kid because a kid is alive. I just love playing with my baby sister."
On the way home he became somewhat sad, expressing to me how he's feeling about things and what he misses. On so many levels my heart breaks for him, and yet it was a beautiful opportunity to share truth with him. "JJ, I know you are sad. But God is always with you and He loves you. He protects you. Remember when you accepted Him as your Savior? He is in you and with you always. Also, you have SO many people that love and care about you. I know there will be days you are sad, but never ever forget that."
To this, he told me that he is human and he will have feelings of being sad. That they won't go away, but he wants to be baptized and tell the world that he loves Jesus. Bless it. HE is doing a work in all of us and I will continue to trust in His promises. And will not be silent about His goodness!!
“You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent. Lord my God, I will praise you forever.” Psalm 30:11
