part two.

{part one, here}

“Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”

I can proclaim this to be true.  His presence and provision have been so clearly evident the past few months and His goodness truly overwhelms me.  There has been no doubt in my mind that God went before us, and has been with us all along the way.  He promises to never leave us.  Our minds cannot fully grasp this, as we operate within the limitations of our humanness.  Though we love, we cannot love unconditionally.  Though we may mean well, we somehow still manage to screw it all up.  But, God.  We can hold onto and claim His promises.

"Resurrection challenges my concept of never. When God says never, it’s different than when I say never. When God says never, he means never. We have a living hope! We hope in the glory of God.  “The sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that will be revealed.”

I can rest in that.  I can have hope in that.  And, I do.  

There are countless examples of ways in which God prepared me - prepared us - for this journey.  And, protected.  For now, I would love to share three that have stood out to me.

1.  Our church - God planted our family there.  We were not looking for a new church, but went exactly a year ago to hear a friend preach.  Let me be honest here - I didn't really want to go.  Like most people, I like familiar.  I'm not the type to enjoy new environments all that much or be out of my comfort zone. Ha! God has a sense of humor, that's for sure.  Comfort zone?  What comfort zone?  Let's just say I've been stretched beyond what I could possibly have ever imagined!  Nevertheless, we went that Sunday and never stopped going.  

But in all transparency, we didn't get involved.  We showed up, but we sat in the pew.  For nine months.  God was speaking to and preparing my heart, but I made no real connections.  Fast forward to the Sunday after the arrest that I showed up at church.  Part of the beauty of not getting involved prior to all of this was the majority did not know who I was.  A few did, and those people came around me.  We threw ourselves into church.  We joined a connect group, we started going on Wednesday nights, and well, now I work there.  That's another story for another day, and amazing all in itself.  In the past three months, I have made more real connections than in the past fourteen of living here. God knew exactly where we needed to be.

2. My parents - God moved them here.  It never really made sense.  We are all set to move to Texas.  The kids were enrolled in school, we had plane tickets, and we were ready to pack up our house.  Nine days before we planned to caravan outta here, I got a phone call.  Yes, another call.  From my dad.  He said, "I just need to know one thing.  I just got out of a meeting.  If we could move there, instead of y'all moving here, would that change things?"  

My heart breathed the biggest sigh of relief.  Up until that point, I truly believed we were supposed to move.  But in that moment, I knew we weren't.  My parents biggest dream had always been for us to move out there.  When my mom called and said, "I'm not sure why, but I haven't had a peace about you moving here.  We are supposed to move there.", that 100% confirmed it.  So, they put their house on the market, sold half of their belongings, and began their journey to Southern California.  They drove into our driveway on Thanksgiving Day.  We had a plan to sell our house, buy a new house with land, and for them to build a granny flat.  God stopped all of that and made it impossible for us to buy a new house during the months before his arrest.  Now, we realize we would have gotten ourselves into a mortgage that we wouldn't have been able to afford.  He provided for us by putting a halt to our plans.  The biggest thing in having my parents here has been their support.  I'm not quite sure how I could have/would have managed all of this without them.  Without the ability to process as I've needed to.  Bearing all the burden alone.  You cannot imagine all of the things that have had to be taken care of since this happened, but let's just say - it's been A LOT.  And it's been difficult.  But God has given me the strength, the courage, and the fight to do it.  

3. His protection - He has sheltered us.  This story gives me chills.  Going back to the night of his arrest, it was an ordinary night.  In fact, I had just spoken to him on the phone and he was on his way home.  Not soon after, there was a knock on our door.  I looked out the peep hole and did not recognize the face, so chose not to answer.  Yes, I know - this is how our generation deals with a knock on the door.  But, it was a blessing I didn't open the door.  

Fast forward an hour or so.  I received the phone call.  I was so confused.  I checked our Ring camera and his car was in the driveway, but there was no video recording of him pulling in.  Let's just say, it goes off all hours of the day and night, practically every time the wind blows, but nothing during this time.  I was told later that about 8 sheriff cars pulled in behind him as he drove into the driveway.  The knock on the door was our neighbor from across the street.  The Ring did go off when she started walking to our house, still in the middle of the street.  She looked frantic in the video and was knocking on my door to tell me what had happened.  My kids love to watch the Ring videos.  We were all sitting in the house, and none of us had a clue anything had happened.  God protected that.  There's no other explanation.  And I'm thankful I didn't answer the door to a frantic neighbor either.  My kids would have been terrified.  Instead, I was able to tell them when it was appropriate.  God allowed me the time and space to process and figure out next steps, and them the peace of mind of not being scared and worried about their dad.  

The timing in all of this was also His provision.  This happened the week before school got out.  We were able to finish out that week because no one knew anything yet - including them, until Friday afternoon.  Silas was able to go on his end of the year field trip and Eli & JJ were able to celebrate their summer birthdays at school (which had been planned out in advance for Friday).  They only missed 3 half days of school, and were able to deal with this trauma during the summer, rather than the middle of the school year.  His timing.  His provision.  His protection.  

HE KNEW.  God works ALL things for good.  He never leaves us or forsakes us.  He gives peace that passes all understanding.  Think on this:

"You don’t have to like what it feels like to appreciate the change that it is creating. What God allowed can actually serve to advance the Gospel. God is achieving a purpose through this. Can you praise God for the result of a situation that is not yet resolved?  While you are still sitting in a Roman prison cell can you say “God if you can get some glory out of this, I’m glad.”

Likely, if we had the choice to go through something difficult, we'd choose not to.  But these are the places God can use the most.  If there's a greater purpose to all of this, if God can use this story for good, can I thank God and praise Him in advance for it?  YES!!  Faith.  He has called us to live extraordinary lives of faith.  Yes and amen.  Thank you Lord, that I can be a small part of a bigger picture.  For His good.  For His glory.  For His purpose.

To be continued...

I love what this image demonstrates.  Love.  Protection. Don't you know God loves us even more than that?

She has had the hardest time, being unable to understand where daddy is and why he is gone.  Her emotions have been all over the place. Sometimes, you just need to be held.