part six.
Life is so unpredictable. As much as we can make our plans, we never really have any control - whether we'd like to believe that or not. We can plan, prepare, organize, seemingly do all the right things, and something comes up that throws everything off. Believe me, I had plans of where my life was headed. One phone call changed everything. I feel like it's kinda like that with our emotions as well, especially when you're in a vulnerable state. The smallest thing can take your emotions over the top and to a place you were not expecting.
I have found that when I go about my routine, it's easier to be distracted. It's generally the things that are not the norm that throw me. I went to an event Sunday night and I'm not sure why, but I felt out of place. It's the times when I feel like I'm "supposed" to be there with my husband that I feel most alone. The it shouldn't be this way mentality. I spoke about this previously, but I don't quite know where I fit in anymore. Certain situations, often with couples, just do not feel comfortable. And, who are my friends if that makes sense? We tend to group off with those that are in similar life circumstances and life stages. This is all sorts of new, and all sorts of uncomfortable. I've lived married for so long and now I'm single. It's weird, friends. Quite honestly, I don't like it or being alone.
I share all of these things not for pity, but to be real. I believe God has called me to share my story and well, this is part of it. It can be oh so lonely if my heart and my mind are not centered. But God has really laid on my heart lately the area of my expectations.
"We all have needs and wants. You’re not meeting the wrong need, you’re meeting it with the wrong means. Once you’re set free from what you expected, you can receive what you need. Not give me, but show me. If you want joy, rejoice. If you want purpose, give praise. God is a need meeter. He knows how to put you where you need to be to release what He gave you to carry."
It's all in our trust. I say I trust God, but do I trust in His timing? Do I really believe He will meet all of my needs? It's an easy thing to say, but my emotions can get the better of me. We want an easy fix. Can we just super glue this all back together? Can we just skip past all the messy and get to the rebuilding? The beautiful ending.
"We often come just to get our needs met. We don’t get our needs met by thinking about OUR needs. It’s not even about me. You’ve gotta get outside of yourself, and outside of your customs, and outside of your traditions, and outside of your expectations, and outside of your entitlement. Be the break through. Release the pain and ask God to use it. You are to be an agent of change. The world needs what we have but we’ve got to give it."
Okay, God. Reality check. Isn't this so true? We have to get out of the me-centeredness and focus on the bigger picture. Again, faith. God doesn't have to tell us the ending. He calls us to obey and doesn't give us all the details. He told Abraham, "Go to the land I will show you." He didn't tell him where or for how long, but to go. When the disciples were in the middle of the storm and Peter asked "Lord, is that you?", Jesus simply said, "Come." He gave no further instructions. Both required obedience. Trust. Faith. I'm not going to get all the details in my situation. There's no book of instructions or play by play of how this all turns out in the end. It's a day by day - more accurately moment by moment - walk. Can I trust God in the process? Can I trust Him with the ending?
At the end of the day, this isn't about me. My life is all about His glory. This is His story, not mine, that is ever being written.
“My God will meet all {my} needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.” He is the source. He is the means. I will never be able to do this apart from Him. Of course, the enemy will still whisper all the lies. I will still have days where I'm forcing myself not to cry in a crowded room or where I am sitting in my office crying. I'll have times where I feel completely alone. Because, my emotions will get the better of me. But, I will refocus. And I will center myself in Truth. And the best part? Things will get better. He is still with me and He is building and restoring even if I don't see it yet in full. Have a listen to this song. I know I have a ton of favorites, but this has been such an encouragement to me when I'm feeling all the feels.
I have found that when I go about my routine, it's easier to be distracted. It's generally the things that are not the norm that throw me. I went to an event Sunday night and I'm not sure why, but I felt out of place. It's the times when I feel like I'm "supposed" to be there with my husband that I feel most alone. The it shouldn't be this way mentality. I spoke about this previously, but I don't quite know where I fit in anymore. Certain situations, often with couples, just do not feel comfortable. And, who are my friends if that makes sense? We tend to group off with those that are in similar life circumstances and life stages. This is all sorts of new, and all sorts of uncomfortable. I've lived married for so long and now I'm single. It's weird, friends. Quite honestly, I don't like it or being alone.
I share all of these things not for pity, but to be real. I believe God has called me to share my story and well, this is part of it. It can be oh so lonely if my heart and my mind are not centered. But God has really laid on my heart lately the area of my expectations.
"We all have needs and wants. You’re not meeting the wrong need, you’re meeting it with the wrong means. Once you’re set free from what you expected, you can receive what you need. Not give me, but show me. If you want joy, rejoice. If you want purpose, give praise. God is a need meeter. He knows how to put you where you need to be to release what He gave you to carry."
It's all in our trust. I say I trust God, but do I trust in His timing? Do I really believe He will meet all of my needs? It's an easy thing to say, but my emotions can get the better of me. We want an easy fix. Can we just super glue this all back together? Can we just skip past all the messy and get to the rebuilding? The beautiful ending.
"We often come just to get our needs met. We don’t get our needs met by thinking about OUR needs. It’s not even about me. You’ve gotta get outside of yourself, and outside of your customs, and outside of your traditions, and outside of your expectations, and outside of your entitlement. Be the break through. Release the pain and ask God to use it. You are to be an agent of change. The world needs what we have but we’ve got to give it."
Okay, God. Reality check. Isn't this so true? We have to get out of the me-centeredness and focus on the bigger picture. Again, faith. God doesn't have to tell us the ending. He calls us to obey and doesn't give us all the details. He told Abraham, "Go to the land I will show you." He didn't tell him where or for how long, but to go. When the disciples were in the middle of the storm and Peter asked "Lord, is that you?", Jesus simply said, "Come." He gave no further instructions. Both required obedience. Trust. Faith. I'm not going to get all the details in my situation. There's no book of instructions or play by play of how this all turns out in the end. It's a day by day - more accurately moment by moment - walk. Can I trust God in the process? Can I trust Him with the ending?
At the end of the day, this isn't about me. My life is all about His glory. This is His story, not mine, that is ever being written.
“My God will meet all {my} needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.” He is the source. He is the means. I will never be able to do this apart from Him. Of course, the enemy will still whisper all the lies. I will still have days where I'm forcing myself not to cry in a crowded room or where I am sitting in my office crying. I'll have times where I feel completely alone. Because, my emotions will get the better of me. But, I will refocus. And I will center myself in Truth. And the best part? Things will get better. He is still with me and He is building and restoring even if I don't see it yet in full. Have a listen to this song. I know I have a ton of favorites, but this has been such an encouragement to me when I'm feeling all the feels.
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| j o y |
