I surrender.

Feb 10

Surrender. What does that really look like?

We are called to live by faith, but often fear can take hold and seemingly paralyze us. It can leave us stuck in a moment or in a thought that grips us to the core. I'm not sure about you, but deep down my biggest desire is to give it all up and surrender to Him, and yet there's those inklings of doubt that whisper in my ear. I can give up these things, but those things... can I really trust You?

Thankfully God is gracious and I am ever learning and ever growing. Day by day I'm pressing into those fears and desiring to get to the root of them because I long to change, becoming more and more the person He created me to be. I came across a devotional called Dangerous Prayers and it's really got my mind spinning. So often even our prayers are self centered - God, give me rather than use me.

"What if instead of asking God to just do something for us, we prayed a dangerous, self-denying prayer of availability to our Heavenly Father? Send me, Lord. Use me. Because of who you are - my God, my King, my Savior - I trust you. Because you are sovereign, I surrender my will to you, every part of me. Take my mind, my eyes, my mouth, my ears, my heart, my hands, my feet, and guide me toward your will. I trust you. God, my answer is yes."

Can I really pray that? No matter the road, no matter the cost? Yes, I want to be used by God - but at any sacrifice? What does it mean to truly pray, not my will, but Yours? I know my children are Yours, but if I loose hold of the tight grip I have on them and surrender them, will they still be okay? If I ask you to break me, will you take something from me? I have seen your goodness, your faithfulness, your provision, but will you really satisfy the longings of my heart? Will You who began a good work in me carry it out unto completion? Can you continue to give me even the faith of a mustard seed to keep walking, to keep pressing in? You guys - it is so easy to quote and yet sometimes it feels like you're just barely breathing by the end of the day. But, nevertheless, I am still here.

And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

Paul spends the first 11 chapters of Romans speaking on what Christ has done for us. Therefore, the above should be our natural response. Because of His sacrifice, we should offer up all of ourselves - our mind, our body, our will. And then, God will renew us. There's that word again - renew. As we conform more and more to the likeness of Christ, our will will naturally align with His will. I do believe that. As we come to know Him more fully, His thoughts will become our thoughts. His ways will become our ways. Therefore, our will becomes His will. "The mind of Christ sees that the goal of living is not to please yourself, but to please God. And the way you please God is to depend on Him, to expect Him to work through you, where you are; to expect that He has the power and the wisdom and the strength to somehow, in then situation in which you find yourself, do things in ways that you can't anticipate or even dream of."

I often get so frustrated with myself. It can feel like an endless cycle of faith, fear, faith, fear. Why, or rather, how could I not trust the very One who created me and knit me together? To the One who is able to do immeasurably more than I could ever ask or imagine? To the One who promises if we commit to Him, He will give us the desires of our heart? We should live in expectation of Him to move and to work, rather than our doubt and disbelief.

I heard today, "Your faith will always slip when you start consulting your feelings. Faith is a focus. It’s the ability to say I’m putting my eyes on the goodness of God in this moment. And I’m not looking back, and I’m not looking forward, and I’m not looking around. My mind has already reached a conclusion. God is for me, God is with me. If the wind be against me, if the world be against me, if all Hell’s power nails Him to a cross, in three days He will rise because my faith is focused on the Word of God that I’m walking towards."

To surrender means to "cease resistance to an enemy or opponent and submit to their authority." There are countless times in the Word that God tells His people in so many words that this is not their battle to fight. They need only to be still. To trust. To let Him do the work. I know my life would be much less exhausting if I could do just that. Honestly, there have been so many areas God has helped me to release to Him. I know the things that right now I'm trying to hang onto. As I was reading and praying this morning God really brought to mind the things I am not truly surrendering to Him - my children's future and them ultimately being okay and not destroyed, my feelings of being alone and longing for someone to share life with. Can I come to the place where I truly believe if God never does another thing for me, He's already done enough? Again, another quote worthy saying. But can I believe this?

Pray with me my friends! I believe open dialogue is so essential to our walk. It's okay to have questions. It's okay to realize we are all the same and all in this together. Together, we can lead one another to truth, to faith, to surrender. This is just a piece of my heart and I would love to know what is on yours.

Father, help me to surrender my every desire to You - especially those that I am holding onto so tightly. With arms high and heart abandoned, may I submit myself to You and to Your will. Not my will Father, but Yours.