to JJ on your 9th birthday

My JJ,

Here we are, another trip around the sun. Your 9th, to be exact.  You've counted down to birthdays since I can remember.  You live from your birthday to Christmas and back again.  I've always thought it fitting that they were exactly 6 months apart, since these are the two days of the year that bring you overwhelming joy.  

And that brings me overwhelming joy, because when you light up, so do I.  You and me - we've been buddies since the beginning.  That's the fun in having kids that are spread apart.  While your brothers were in school, we were on our own conquests and adventures.  We had special mommy and JJ time that I will forever cherish.  I look back at photos and smile and it reminds me why we are still so close today.  You tell me everyday - no less than a million times, I might add - "You're the best mom in the world.  I love you more than anything."  Same, my boy.  Same.

What can I say about you?  You are a man of facts.  You love details, you love data, you love knowledge.  If you could describe yourself in one word, it would be intelligent.  You wouldn't be wrong.  Your favorite subjects are math, history, and science and there's no question I could see you as a scientist or something in that field.  You are incredibly self aware and love to discuss the deep things of life.  Awhile ago you asked if we could have "Therapy Thursdays" and so we do.  We sit and talk about what's going on in life and what's on your heart.  And there's a lot on your heart.  Sometimes it feels like you carry the weight of the world and I so long to see you just be a kid.  My favorite thing is to see you light-hearted, having fun, and smiling that ear to ear grin.  You've lost some of that fire with the weight of what you've been through.  I say this and document it, because I know and believe God is working in you.  He will be faithful to heal and bind up your wounds.  He cares for you so much, and so do I.

What I love about you the most is your heart for the Lord.  You have an understanding of God and His Word that blows me away for your young age.  And yet it doesn't, because you've always been wise beyond your years.  You are a prayer warrior that prays fiercely and boldly.  With your heart, I could also see you as a Pastor, changing the world for Christ.  I pray that over you, that you would be a world changer.  I believe that with all my heart JJ.  God so uniquely gifted you and you've experienced everything you have for a reason.  Though pain is not easy, it is not for nothing.  There's an eternal glory that far outweighs it all.  Keep holding onto that with every ounce of you.

My prayer over you this year is that you find your fire.  I pray you find complete peace and joy in Him.  I pray you know you are loved beyond measure.  You are HIS dearly loved child, and also ours.  Your dad and I are so very proud of you and our hearts are honored to be able to raise you up in Him and for Him.

There is so much to come, my boy.  I love you with all my heart - more than anything in the whole world - as you would say.  Have the happiest birthday ever.  It's going to be one amazing trip around the sun ... the best is yet to come.

All my heart,

Mom

You had me at hello.

We are looking to find that silly smirk again.  

Me + you = the best buddies

God answered your prayer, sweet boy.

that's the smile I adore.

from the first moment, til now... you hold my heart.

You were deep in thought from the beginning 

I'm not sure who was more excited for the wedding... me, or you.

You are one of a kind, my boy.

When you love, you love BIG.

When you are excited, you are EXCITED.

You are the best.  And don't you forget it.